Sick Days

August has been sick for the past few days (since Thursday, when he registered a 102.1 fever), so we've been taking it easy around the Diego house.  Nothing too serious; our doctor just thinks he has a baby version of a sinus infection, and his fever is gone as of this morning.  There is a lot of coughing and nose stuff happening, though, so most of my attention has gone to the little man.
What to do with a little man who is under the weather?  Our play dates were canceled, dinners with adults were rain checked, and we've hunkered down inside the house.  I've got a few tricks up my sleeve, though!
-Bubbles!  We've got tubes of them around the house (near the high chair, living room play area, upstairs nursery, diaper bag), and they are perfect for distracting a fussy kid.  I can usually get at least 15 minutes to contented play out of them.
-Outdoor time.  I've got two picnic blankets (one in the car, one near our backyard door), so we can head outside to listen to the birds, watch Mia sniff around, touch all the leaves near the stairs, and swing!  We can be outside for up to 30 minutes without complaint.
-Baby gym. More than anything, August just wants to be mobile these days.  With adult supervision and guidance, he loves crawling/walking up our stairs as many times as our legs allow it.  He also loves to scurry over pillows I lay on the living room floor, pull himself up and 'cruise' along a furniture 'obstacle course,' and find me as I hide behind corners in the house.  The more active he is between naps, the longer he sleeps!
-Story time.  August absolutely adores books, and we have piles of them around the house for his perusal.  We do a few 10-minute story times, including a couple of songs, throughout the day.
-Drive-through outings.  Sometimes, I just have to leave the house, if only for a drive around.  August and I like hitting up the Starbucks and enjoying a treat at a park, or sharing some frozen yogurt in the back seat when I park.  He really doesn't mind his car seat, so we can be out for 30 minute increments.
-Mama workouts.  As much as I love going to classes at our YMCA, I can't leave August in their daycare while he's sick like this.  When his fever is down, though, I love taking him for runs in the stroller around our neighborhood.  He likes getting out and checking out the scenery, and I love that I don't feel like a bum sitting around the house all day.  We're usually out for about an hour this way.  Mia usually joins us, which keeps August extra entertained!
-Lots of snuggles.  Need I say more?

The Overprotected Kid

I so enjoyed this article from The Atlantic.  Although I by no means was a crazy adventurous child growing up, my Sunday afternoons were often spent running around my grandparents' ranch with my cousins, unsupervised; both of my parents worked, so my sister and I were left to our own devices during the summer.  Those days were spent cultivating imagination (there was always a game of runaway princesses or long-lost sisters reunited going on), building forts in the yard, coming up with swim routines- and, yes, occasionally getting a skinned knee or lots of mosquito bites.  Looking back at it, I knew that my parents trusted me to take care and make good choices, even if they weren't standing two feet behind me.  What a wonderful gift to give a kid.
Although August is only 9 months old, I'm trying to not be helicopter parent.  I trust that he'll let me know if he needs something, but exploration is so important to his development, mobility, and curiosity right now.  My goal is to have a child who isn't afraid to take risks, who can entertain himself outside of the house, and feels comfortable without a set schedule and activities.  I have a feeling I'll be coming back to Rosin's points several times in the future!

The Weeks of Little Sleep

Common knowledge dictates that having a baby in the house results in very little consecutive sleep, if any at all, and I had somewhat come to grips with that when August first arrived.  He is incredibly cute, but is not one of those babies who slept 12 hours through the night at 3 weeks old.

At about 6 weeks, he started sleeping in 5 hour stretches at the beginning of the night, and 3 hour stretches after that; at 12 weeks, we had his sleep routine up to 7-8 hours of sleep, eating, then out for another 2-3 hours.

We just finished an 8-week spurt of visitors, and last week August had his 4-month check-up and shots, all of which contributed to the little man being very off his sleep cycle.  For about 10 days, he really made us question if we could handle having another kid in the future!  

It would take us up to 2 hours to get him to sleep, and he was up every couple of hours after that.  JP and I usually take turns feeding him at night, but at a certain point I had to take over all nighttime meals so that the big man could function at work the next day.  Combine this with me desperately trying to keep up with the housework during the day instead of napping, and I was going on a ridiculously small amount of sleep. 

It came to a head last Wednesday.  The two nights prior, August was fussy enough to warrant attention nearly every two hours, and I eventually gave up on sleeping between his spurts of screaming.  That morning, I was going on perhaps 5 hours of sleep in a 48 hour period.  I honestly can't tell you how awful I felt: snappy, headachy, endlessly frustrated, on-edge.  At 8am I went to change August's diaper and was so dizzy when I looked down that I had to do it one-handed while holding onto the changing table for support.  

JP knew how tired I was, and asked his mom to come over to relieve me so I could nap in the afternoon.  At 10, I had a small breakdown and called him in tears: I couldn't wait until the afternoon to get sleep, and August was so fussy and needy that I couldn't nap in the meantime.  JP rushed home and I burst into sobs when he walked in the door.  I've never been so happy to have someone else around to hold August.  

He held down the fort while I put on my sleep mask and slept.  I got 3 hours of blissful naps that day between JP and Patricia's visits, and, for whatever reason, August's sleep routine went back to normal that night.  He's now getting 8 hours of sleep, eating with me, and then sleeping again for another 3-4 hours.  

The reason I'm writing this story is because Patricia looked at me last Wednesday and said, 'I'm hurt that you didn't feel like you could ask me for help.'  In my quest to make it seem like life with an infant is easy and that things don't really change with a baby, I totally drove my body into the ground.  I was more focused on how things appeared on the outside (clean house, saying, 'Oh, he's sleeping well,') than how I was handling things internally.  That is an excellent way to cultivate dissatisfaction and misfocus.  Having a baby, and life in general, is a team effort; no one is expected to do it alone, and I have totally readjusted my daily schedule to make August and me the focus, and housework far behind that (don't worry- it's clean enough).  

I'm working on letting go of my pedestal of what super-moms do, and centering my thinking on what works best for me and my family.  It involves more time to myself, like napping when August naps and leaving him with JP in the evening so I can see friends.  It involves letting people see him cry and knowing that doesn't make me a bad mom.  It involves admitting I can't do it all, and allowing the incredible support group around us help out.  Most importantly, it involves looking back on the day and feeling like I gave the best of myself to the people I love, not the menial household tasks.  

If you stop by our house, you'll notice dog hair on everything and a bit of dust on the bookshelves, but I guarantee there will be smiles and honest conversation.  Which are you more likely to remember?

Three Weeks in with Cloth Diapering

I honestly cannot believe that we're cloth diapering at home.  If you'd told 17-year old me what my laundry pile would look like at 27, I would be all like, 'Whaaaa...?'

But here I am, snapping on reusable diapers on my firstborn and not even thinking twice about it.

While pregnant, I did a lot of online research into cloth diapering.  It's somewhat of an investment at the beginning, but I knew that it would save us money in the long run, and it's supposed to be easier to potty train kids who have been in CD.  Also, August had a recurring diaper rash for his first month because disposables are better about masking the scent of his dirty diapers; with cloth, there's nothing to mask the smell, so he gets changed way quicker when he really needs it.  Since we've been CD, he hasn't had any redness of his cute little tush!  I call that a win.
After just two months of disposables, I can tell you that they are a) expensive and b) oddly smelly.  Not just what goes inside, but the diapers themselves.
Plus, look how cute this kid is in his new duds.  They're like a part of the outfit!

After looking into all of the options and talking with JP, I decided that All-in-Ones would be best for us.  There are a dizzying number of cloth diaper options (just take a look), but this is the easiest and least-intrusive type for us.  We went with Bumgenius Freetimes, which are not only super cute, but should fit him up to over 30 lbs!  I love the adjustable waist, and how many color options are available.

We have two changing stations: upstairs in the nursery and downstairs in the living room.  I spend the vast majority of my day downstairs, and, confession time, we only CD during the day.  We would need way more diapers to do it all the time, and I wanted to have everything consolidated in one location.  August goes through way more diapers during the day, so we're still not using nearly as many disposables as we used to.
Our CD stash consists of 15 diapers and lots of cloth wipes.  This is our set-up downstairs: changing table on top of our Chicco Playard, diapers prepped in a little basket, spray bottle with water, and CD-friendly diaper cream.

The routine goes like this: August needs a change.  Take him to the table, remove diaper, throw it into our trashcan with tight-fitting lid and washable liner.  Spray wipes with water and wipe him down if needed.  Put on new diaper.  Done.

I do laundry every other day, using Rockin' Green detergent in lavender-mint.  It smells amazing.  It's just a cold pre-rinse, warm wash, cold rinse, dry.  Once a week, I dry everything in the sun to bleach stains.
Mia is confused by the process, but I promise that it's easy.  A few extra loads of laundry a week, but with our new HE washer/dryer, it doesn't add up to much with water or electricity.

It's kind of amazing how easy the transition to a mostly-CD lifestyle has been.  I thought it was going to be much more intimidating and scary, but it's just a matter of finding what works best for you and your daily routine.  There are people who are really into it, and more power to them; I can see how this fits in perfectly with a very green lifestyle.  For our small family, it's more a matter of being cost effective and easier in the long haul, while not stressing about being completely rigid.  My motto for parenting so far is basically, 'Be flexible.'  If I'm out and didn't restock the diaper bag with cloth, I'm not beating myself up for using disposables.
I'll post another update in several months to let you know how we've been keeping up with it.  To be honest, I'm curious about how it will work out once he starts solids; we'll find out!

What I've Learned About Parenthood as of August 21

1. Giving your baby a bottle of formula before bed does not make you a bad parent, nor will it tank your milk supply.  Formula takes longer to digest, which means you'll get more sleep; after weeks of sleeping in 2-hour increments, 4 hours will seem like a vacation.

2. It's okay to still wear your maternity jeans 7 weeks after your baby is born.  Likewise, it is okay to wear your pre-pregnancy jeans with the button undone AS LONG A SHIRT COVERS THE WAISTBAND.  Honestly, let's keep some modicum of decency here.

3. When your baby is screaming and fighting sleep, place him in a baby carrier and vacuum a room.  The white noise from the vacuum mimics the sounds he's used to in the womb, and the baby carrier leaves your hands free in case you need to down a beer to maintain your sanity.

4. The best thing you can do for new parents is bring easy-to-prepare food for them to eat, and offer to do laundry.  Seriously, where do all the dirty clothes come from?

5. Don't pass up an opportunity to pee.  Your baby may decide in 2 minutes that he's hungry and will be attached to the breast for 45 minutes; you'll wish you'd hit up the bathroom when you had a free moment.

6. If nursing, a Netflix account is indispensable.  I nurse anywhere from 3.5-6 hours daily, and have worked my way through some great TV shows during that time.

7. Remember all those people who said, 'Enjoy this time, they grow up so fast?!'  They weren't kidding.  August has gained 4ish pounds since he came home from the hospital, and those preemie pj's he wore at first seem like a distant memory.

8. It's okay to change your plans about parenting.  I truly thought I would love breastfeeding and it would come naturally to us; I didn't love it at first, and it didn't come easily.  We had to use nipple shields (which some people are vehemently against, unnecessarily so), pump to get my supply up, it would take him over an hour at each feeding, and I still ended up having to supplement with formula to help him get rid of his jaundice.  I thought to myself, 'This is not how I envisioned this going, and I'm a bad mom.'  I had this idea in my head of what a good mom looks like, and I was not meeting it.
You know what?  August is doing great.  He can down a bottle or a breast now with no problem or extra assistance.  Most of our feedings take 45 minutes now, and they're spaced further apart.  I actually like our late-night meetings; it's just the two of us, and he makes the cutest faces and hand motions while he's eating.

9. No one cares what you're wearing as long as your baby is happy and well cared for.  A couple weeks ago, August was dressed in an outfit consisting of socks, a polo onesie, pants, a cardigan and hat- all matching.  I was in pajama pants, a nursing tank, and Converses.  When I got to my mother-in-law and sister-in-law's for lunch, they didn't even mention my pj's, just went straight for the baby.  Expectations for your appearance pretty low right now.

10. In order to be a good parent, sometimes you have to let someone else hold him while you take a nap.  It is simply impossible to be good at anything when you're going on just a smidge of sleep.  Take the offer of someone else watching your baby and crash for 45 minutes.  It's amazing what it will do for your psyche.